Settling Into The New New
Life has been so sweet and so nonstop since we welcomed home Archer on July 26th. He is such a joy: happy, snuggly, full of love and the cutest stretches I’ve ever seen.
The first few weeks of Archer joining us were the most exhausting I’ve ever experienced, in so many ways. Our birth plan went completely sideways (hello natural birth after 45 hours of labor), and when Archer was born he wasn’t breathing and required resuscitation help.
Because of that I wasn’t able to breastfeed at first, and so for the first week of Archer’s life Matt and I were feeding him with our pinkie finger and a syringe basically around the clock. Even with that constant care he lost a lot of weight and we ended up needing to work with a lactation consultant on a feeding attack plan.
Just when we thought we were *finally* out of the woods… we got to our one month appointment and found out that his weight was in the 1st percentile, which meant that 99% of babies his age weighed more than him.
Needless to say, that first month was a roller coaster. We are so excited that he has been just absolutely thriving over the past month, and I can’t wait to see how much he weighs at his appointment next week! It was such a scary start to our journey as parents, and I feel like there were so many times that fear was at the forefront of my mind, instead of just being able to enjoy him finally being earth-side.
I’ve been trying my best to enjoy Archer at this stage of life, which to be totally honest is so hard. I’ve been trying to take each moment, big or small, day by day, and not get caught up thinking about what comes next. I think as a mom it can be easy to always be looking ahead, but it seems to be even easier for me to slip into those thoughts as a hardcore planner.
This newborn phase can be so exhausting, and it’s pretty normal to think about that wonderful night when your little one will finally sleep through the night for the first time, or dreaming about the first time he’ll be able to verbalize what it is that he needs or wants instead of his little cries.
But here’s the thing: if we are always looking to the future, then we are missing out on the NOW. We’re missing out on the precious moments that make up the very beginning of our incredible life together as a family, and risk missing out on days that could be some of the best of our lives.
So instead I’m pledging to approach motherhood with wonder. To choose to find the joy and happiness each day, even those days that feel exhausting, and to remember how precious each moment is with these teeny feet and baby smiles.
Am I going to be able to make this happen every day? Heck no! We’re each a constant work in progress, and for me I know not constantly thinking about the future is going to be a struggle for me. But what I do know is that I’m going to keep working to enjoy the journey, and each exciting step along the way.
